A dumb poem, dedicated to him!

This post was lying as a draft for almost 4 years. Now when I was clearing and cleaning my blog, I came across this and dint want to trash it. Though I am a dumb poet, this one did bring in laughter at home today!

The first day you bullied me,
I was then a pure ghee;
The second day you were sarcastic,
Even today when I think of it its fantastic;

The third day you made friends with me,
Then on you behaved like a honey bee;
Few days after you got closer,
I never knew then you were my owner;

You did propose me in front of everyone,
I was happy and said within,that you are the one;
Today we are more than what we were,
I will be a good better half for sure

What is your name?

What's in a name? Why bother if it has 20 letters or too funky. Everybody has a name! Even a man who does not have a kidney would have a name. But what's in a name?

My name is 'Anuradha', it means, a 'star' says Google. I gave it as 'Anuradha Vasan' in my credentials, having my father's name next to mine, following the traditional rule. Well, its been more than a year since my marriage, and still I have not gone for a surname change. My husband has left the choice to me whether or not to change. Well, that's not the topic here. I am addressed as Ms.Vasan in most places. My father's name 'Vasan' has a history again. His original name was Vasudevan, that of lord Krishna's. Since their were two Vasudevan's with the same initials, he decided to shrink it to Vasan and thats how my surname came up. Now back to myself. Here in the United States, people who are not Indian natives call me Vasaaan; thats Va-sa-aa-an(rhymes well with Nissan of Nissan Altima). I tend to correct them in most places. Now that I have become sick of it.

My husband's surname is Krishnakumar, and again since people in US call by surname, he goes mad spelling his name over phone even for a Pizza delivery. Most times his email ID would be mis-spelt. He is pretty much having a tough time. And his first name is Ramgopal. Most people prefer calling him Ram (that used to be my most favorite name even before I knew I am going to marry a guy called Ram). But here in the US, its addressed as RAM (as in 25MB RAM (memory)). Again he got fed up correcting people, hence he got used to himself calling it RAM. Now he says, RAM as in Dodge RAM. Easy for them to follow.

In India, people say that every body's name is related to god somehow or the other. Modern Indian parents want their kids to have a traditionally-funky name. That's because the most common factor that comes in their mind while naming their child is, the revenge against their own parents. In those days parents named their children only with traditional names not knowing that their child would someday become a CEO of a multinational company. Well, I am not complaining the way they named. But I learnt from few of my friends , how dissatisfied they were with their names. A girl named 'Abhithakuchalambal' would get bullied big time at college. 'Pichai' would find it it very difficult to survive in a Tamil speaking state. And so does 'Gundu Rao'.

How about 'Champakavathi', short form should definitely be Champa. Even short names like 'Dhruthi' doesn't seem to be fluent enough. Friends of 'Godavari' would like to call her 'Goda'? or 'God'? 'Hansanandini' shrinks to 'Hansa', I know a person named Hamsa; I would definitely get confused between the two. How would 'Kamakoti' or 'Kamakshi' be called at home? I don't think either would prefer being called with a short form.

Jothika's name in the movie 'Sillunu oru Kadhal' was 'Kundhavai'. This reminds me of the Vivek's comedy in 'Sivaji' about 'Anga-vai'. I had a friend named 'Mrinalini'. At the same time I knew another girl called 'Mirnalini'. Phew!!! That was a tough time differentiating both names. American Indian, 'Vera Mindy Chockalingam' from the US TV series 'The Office' ,is better known as Mindy Kaling here in the United States. While watching the serial sometime, I heard from one of her dialogues, that her parents named her 'Rajnigandha' and she does not like it.

My very own, most common name, 'Anu' was also bullied at times. People used to say Anu's shirt, Anu's cycle, Anu's ring as Anus ring. A small apstophe would change the enitre meaning and would help my enemies bully me.

Most Indians have remodelled or even completely changed their names according to their wish. Based on numerology or even profession, people prefer others to call them with names they choose for themselves. What about film actors. Name a few who haven't gone for a name change. Rajnikanth is a magical name for Tamils or even Indians across the globe. If he was still Sivaji Rao Geakwad, it would sound like some character artists in 1950s. But that's business. People love calling him Rajni though they know he is Sivaji Rao.

I often used to tell my husband that we must be very careful while naming our child. The name should be crisp and easy to pronounce and definitely not a one which our child would want to change in future. There are parents who name their child after a very close relative of them or one of their mothers or fathers.

I came across an English name 'Cupcake' which I recently saw on TV. And I met a person called April. Another beautiful name called Melissa of a person whom I know; I used to say Melissa romba meleeesa aayita...(which means Melissa has become thin, in Tamil).Well that comes under sarcasm which cannot be helped. But lets not forget the genuine cases.There was a girl in my college whose accent and attitude stunned me. Her name was 'Paapathi'. That was the biggest shock for me. Her name was not at all related to her by any mean. But people called her 'Pops'. Now isn't that funky enough!

*Picture - Savannah, Georgia

Wrong window!

Many a times I face embarrassing situations in life. Intensity of few being really awkward; even now when I think of it. Makes me use this statement 'Oh Sh**! why did I do this?'

This one happened last week on a weekday at office. Just like any other day I logged on to my system as soon as I reached my desk. Usually, for official chats through messenger I mind my language and the way I handle my words(that does not mean for unofficial chats I am the other way round. But a little relaxed is what I mean).

I had to chat a while with my immediate-senior regarding a forthcoming meeting. A little later a second window popped up;one of my friends started a chat session with me(an informal one). I went ahead and typed 'from morning samma bulb for me' (meaning : from morning I am like a Monkey ,making a fool out of me from others or precisely doing idiotic things and getting a 'you dumbo' stare from others).
Immediately I got a response 'Y?'. One tiny brain cell of mine made me look at the name of the person in that window (which I normally never do) before I typed my next dialogue. 'Oh my god, what have I done' saying this to myself I immediately typed 'Sorry, that was not for you, sorry,sorry'.

I had typed that statement in my immediate-senior's messenger window who does know Tamil. He sent me back a 'laughing' smiley which made me feel 'Oh Sh**! why did I do this?'

When nature calls....

(Scene at Hum-Tum's Bangalore office)

Tum(guy): Wow what a weather? Shall we go for a movie today?
Hum(girl): Hey look at that building.What do you think is the idea behind this construction?(Tum turns innovative at times)
Tum: I thought I asked you something....
Hum: Oh, now leave that alone. Answer my question. I know you can't think better than me. At least make attempts in clearing my doubts.
Tum: Oh ya? now let me take a plunge...... this building? (he points at that building)
Hum: Yeah that conically-square one.
Tum: Well.....don't you know what this building is for? Dear, this is the new toilet-building at our office.
Hum: Wha........at?

Tum: Yes, see..... this building has 4 floors and one corner of the forth-floor ends as a sharp pointed structure just like a jet aircraft
Hum: Excuse me, you think I am from Venus. I know how it looks like and all. You tell me whats the purpose of this building.
Tum: From now on we got to use this buildings for our 'nature calls'.
Hum: (Imagines)!!!
Tum: Ya.....as we already have some 36 odd buildings here at our office the administration decided to construct a separate building exclusively for toilets.
Hum: But then..........this 'toilet' building has so many floors.....it looks like a modern shopping mall!
Tum: Yeah! this is built by international architects with modern facilities. Separate toilets in all floors.

Hum: Oh! but this one is far off from the first building. How will people manage to run from there and reach here when 'nature is calling them immediately'?
Tum: Good question. I knew there is no one brilliant as you are and only you can ask such tricky questions.
Hum: Yeah! even i know that.
Tum: The admin have to think about it I guess.
Hum: OK, then why does the top most floor has a pointed edge just like a rocket?
Tum: Oh that? that's for the Senior Managers!
Hum: Wha.....at? Senior managers? you mean toiletries are divided as per roles here?
Tum: Yes.First floor for engineers, second floor for senior engineers, third floor for managers, and top most floor for senior managers and dignitaries...
Hum: Oh! partiality man! so we people cant go to the top most floor then?
Tum: We can dear, when water pipelines don't work in first floor toilets we can use the ones at other floors.
Hum: Hmmm, now that's gentleman-ship!

Tum: Now, did you believe all that?
Hum: ?!?!?

Dog Days!

Trend these days is body wash, massage, manicure, pedicure, and final touch-ups all come for just Rs.1600. Tell this to a girl and you can see a maximum portion of her eyeballs out. Be it male or female, this is the cost of a complete package for a royal look. Now stop elevating your hopes. Still if you get ready to visit this place, take your dog along with you. Yes, the package is for the dogs.

Maybe the person who actually does the body wash for the dogs keeps his fingers crossed till he is done;for his life is at risk.We normally shout out when the beautician suddenly goes wrong scratching our skin during a hair cut. What would the dogs do? Even though they are brought up in posh localities in a royal manner; they are dogs by nature.

Now once the wash is over, a perfect massage is done for the dog. Then the doggy, be it a male or female undergoes manicure and pedicure treatments. For men who are not aware, did that sound like pedigree? Pedicure is a treatment done for the legs to give a decent look; while the former is for hands. Now if its a female dog they get free hair clips too. When everything is done the doggy is ready to walk the red carpet.

Its not all over here. Dog-dating is another aspect, wherein one can leave their dog's name and gender in the dog beauty parlors. And once a perfect match comes the owner is contacted for a date. The dog owners can accompany their dogs while they date. Try being decent enough not to peep into their (dog's) personal affairs.

The whole idea is to be welcomed as pets need to be given some good treatments too.After all, dogs are man's immediate friends!

Romance at various Eras!

**Ray and Ann have fallen in love recently**

Love conversations at different Eras

Adam-Eve era - Entities together!
Ray: Ann, look at the stars above your head. How romantic they are?

Ann: Ray, would you get me one?

Ray (says to himself): Truly Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!

Emperor's era – Entities apart, minds speak! Dove communication!
Ray: (Common man Ray admires Princess Ann from far off and says to himself) Wish I were Prince Charming. Look at the diamond jewelry on her neck. How do I convince her father?

Ann: (Looks at Ray from the balcony of her palace) Wish I were born to a cobbler.

Ray: (makes hand gestures to Ann) Have you read the love note which i sent through the dove?

Ann: (makes hand gestures back to Ray) Oh! did u actually send a love note along with the dove you sent? Sorry, we all had a rich dove meal yesterday. I thought that was your gift!

Mid 19Th century – Entities apart, letter communication!
Ray: (writes a letter)

Dear Ann,

I first saw you,

The whole world looked new;

You smiled at me,

Nothing else I can see;

You said 'Hi',

Oh my!

I proposed you,

While I possessed only very few;

You still accepted,

I felt the whole world I defeated;

May I ask your hand?

For, I shall make your life grand.

Ann: (As she reads the letter her cheeks turn pink. Imaginary duet song in the snowy Himalayas)

After 1980's – Entities apart, telephonic conversation-Voice communication!
Ray : Darling Ann, I am thinking about you. Wish you were here. (speaks to himself "For her to pay for the party next week this much is enough!")

Ann: Ray, my Romeo. Won’t you appear before me like a superman? Please come and take me from here soon!

After 1990's – Entities apart, Email-communication!
Ray (through email): Hi Ann, we shall fix our marriage once our baby turns 1. Is that fine with you?

Ann (replies): Fine with me. Don't forget to invite our first child's school friends too (With a happy smiley :-))

After 30Th century - Entities apart. Entities together???
Ray: Hi Ann, do you want to see me now?
Ann: I would love to. (speaks to herself "Wont this guy spare me at least for today?")
Ray :( appears virtually in front of her)

I enjoyed this- Sneeze it out!

Courtesy: http://ramforever.blogspot.com/ (Share Auto Predicament)

Situation in a share auto ( In Chennai, a share auto is a kind of car with the seats re-arranged and packed with at least 15 people wherein actually only 6-7 can sit comfortably) :

//This is when nature began to play its part and I had this urge to sneeze. If I sneezed then my body will surely move and will end up touching one of the women.// (you will understand it better when you read his narration-RAM in my bloggers list)

Explained in a funny way though, i feel there is no need to control your sneeze. Be it a boy or girl, or your project manager, or your father-in-law; sneeze it out when you actually feel like!

Effective Morning walk!

Are your morning walks boring?You must have tried carrying your i-pod for keeping you entertained.And i can sense that you are still bugged up with this exercise.Right? Also do you feel your tummy baby is not willing to reduce?Are you feeling embarrassed in a jean shop?Has it been a long time since you have lost yourself dancing in a DJ night?Do you want to shake your hips like Shakira?Here is a technique which will make this exercise effective than never before.This small piece of information can be taken as a joke, or could be implemented. I bet; you will be amazed by the results.

Here it goes......

While going for a morning walk take a dog with you.Where, you don't need to pull him, he will drag you along with him. And you need to run behind him like a 'what'?(Of course like a dog).I bet, this exercise will be very effective for people who think to reduce weight in a matter of few days.

Simple techniques to grow fatter....

• Maintain your treadmill well by cleaning it every weak such that it doesn't become rusted.(for the betterment of a buyer when u put a sale)

• Eat at least one ice cream per week - especially ones like Cornetto, feast(preferably chocolate).
• Always take an auto to the boarding point of your office bus; even if it is a few footsteps away
• Use only lifts and escalators and not staircase in your office even if you work in the first floor.

• Eat a lot of potatoes especially fried ones. The same applies with fish too if you are a non vegetarian.
• Never do any household work and enjoy getting scoldings from your mom for not helping her out.
• Buy a good quality DVD player which will make you sit in one place for hours.
• Drink a glass of milk in the morning before breakfast, make sure you have at least 2 coffee breaks which will make you drink 2 more cups of milk.
• Add-ons are Bar chocolates, fried packet items especially when you travel for hours in bus.

Diaper Technology

Sometime back I had a discussion with my friend about baby-diapers. The basic function of a diaper is to collect the baby's output and make him feel comfortable always. But our discussion was, what will make the mom know that it has become wet, so that she could clean up the baby?

My Friend gave a suggestion out of his wildest thoughts. His notion was -how about fitting LED's in the diaper such that the bulb glows when it comes in contact with the wetness. By this way whenever the diaper becomes wet the LED will glow , and the baby will move here and there with the LED glowing. And mom will naturally know that she has to replace it with a new one!!!

ROTFL...

An ultimate comedy show in 'Star Vijay' television channel.....

Jeeva, Manohar and Swaminathan steal the show and make everyone glued to their seats in front of the small screens on Friday nights. Director Rambala knows the formula of mixing comedy with 'nayyaandi' (tease) double-meaning dialogues.

The crew has not left any actor for that matter when it comes to imitating. Well, that's the crux of the show.The show basically imitates a movie and guess what they make a real flop movie hit here by their witty dialogues. Three cheers for this young chap Jeeva whose hard work is clearly depicted in every show!!!

Drama-Prem Kahani!!!

Day1:Ann experiences her first day at office.
Place:Meeting room
Members: New joinees,Ann,Raymond

Ann: (to herself) Man, when are they gonna start the classes? And why is everyone giving a weird look
Raymond: (to his friends) why aren't there any nice chiks man???
Ann: (heard to what Raymond said and turns back and gives a stare at him)
Raymond: Wha....at ma'am? any problem?
Ann: No, nothing........
Raymond:(to his friends) Why do aunties come to work? (looks at Ann and comments to his friends) This aunty should have got at least two kids and she comes to work here for time pass.....
Other members: (laugh!)


Day2: Ann experiences her second day at office.
Place: Cafeteria
Members: New joinees,Ann,Raymond

Ann: So........please introduce yourselves. I am Ann, and i have completed my engineering from St Joseph's
Raymond:Oh cool! then continue......
Ann:(looks at a thin guy with spectacles): Whats your name?
Raymond: Raymond!
Ann: Where do you come from?
Raymond: From home........! Where else?
Ann:Grrrr...........(thinks as if we all come from Zulu forests.....)
Ann: Very funny!!!


Day3: Ann experiences her third day at office.
Place: Car Park
Members: Raymond,Ann

Ann:How long have we been waiting for you guys?
Raymond: Oh sorry! we made you wait. Shall we proceed.....
Ann: Yes!
Raymond: Ma'am are you very sensitive?
Ann:(raises her eyebrows) Wha......aaaat?
Ann: Nope not really.......Well, what made you say that?
Raymond: You wear a red bindi on your forehead.....so, maybe i thought you would be.....
Ann: (says to herself) Is this guy trying to get closer or what?
Raymond:Shall we proceed.....
Ann: Yes!

Curlzzzz......

Perhaps, everyone in this planet wants to look gorgeous. This fever prevails at all age groups, especially for the people in teens and post-teens. Each one wants to attract their opposite sex.In many cases people do not worry about the consequences when they take risks in changing their physical appearances. They call it the make-over.Starting from plastic surgery to making curls to the hair, everything is possible with the growing cosmetic technology.At times the urge of making one smarter than before creates adverse effects.Here is a narration of a similar incindent.

Maya, works for a private concern.She is not a beauty contest winner, but she knows to carry herself well.For many months she wanted to go for a make-over by doing some kind of treatment to her hair and face.One fine Sunday morning she went for a hair-cut at the nearby beauty saloon. She had a step cut for which she was charged 100 rupees. She came back home and had a bath.Now here comes the turning point.Her hair was wet and she wanted to try developing curls or twists or rolls to her hair. She never knew her villain was this yellow handled curl-comb! It was specially designed to make curls when used appropriately.

Brilliant Maya took a huge streak of hair in the front part of her head and rolled it over the comb.It was almost a bunch of hair. She gave a few minutes for the hair to adapt itself to the new shape. After a few minutes she tried taking the comb back, and to her surprise the comb got well settled in the hair. The entire bunch of hair got rolled to the comb in a random manner. Got threatened by it Maya tried pulling the hair of the comb. As she was not able to take even a single hair out of it , she tried making the hair slippery by putting shampoo in it. By this time the hair became more harder towards the comb and the bond became stronger.Maya now looked herself in the mirror. She got reminded by the witch in 'Hansel and Gratel'. Maya thought the only way to get rid of this danger was to make herself bald.

She immediately called up the beauty saloon for asking them tips. She heard a loud laugh from the other side of the phone, where the beauticians were having a nice fun time after hearing Maya's story. One among them wanted her to come over to the shop. Maya was embarrassed to leave her home. She had a comb attached on her front head with the handle protruding out. She rang up the auto guy. Once the auto came she covered her hair with a black duppatta such that no one finds her new make-over!She reached the saloon and gave the driver his money. He was wondering all the while if something was seriously wrong, as she was holding her duppatta with her right hand not letting it fall down. She ran inside the saloon and sat quietly till the other customers left the place.

It was finally her turn. The ladies had a tug of war with the hair streak.This was obviously a challenging case for them. They would never had met such a customer in their life. One among them thought this issue would definitely get them a Guinness record if they succeeded. Poor Maya was looking herself at the large mirror as the beauticians were playing with her hair.It took almost two hours for them to remove the entire bunch of hair from the comb. Though she lost a little bit of hair, she was happy that she gained most of them back. She thanked them and returned home with a sense of satisfaction. Will Maya ever go for a make-over again?